Small Feelings

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Since moving to the England, I’ve been able to see more stars in the night sky. (Side note: This blog post’s picture is of my dog because I do not have any pictures of proper sky stars, so I had to settle for an Earth one.) I used to live in Kuwait, and because of the light pollution, you could only see two or three stars spread out. Even out in the desert, the lights obscured the night sky.

In Buckingham however, it’s possible to see many more stars. It’s only marginally better, but I still think it’s neat.

When I was in the Philippines, I visited Alaminos in Pangasinan. I understand that if you haven’t been there, that means very little. That’s okay. Here’s a cheeky link to Google maps, so you can see it on a map and think, “Oh, yeah, right. That’s there, cool.” It’s a decent spot to visit, and I’d 100% recommend it because there’s this place called the 100 Islands, and it’s fantastic.

Anyway, I was there, and at night, it’s dark. You might read that and think, “It gets dark at night? Amazing.” The best way I can describe it is that it’s the kind of dark where you’ll only know which way you’re going if you’d walked that way a thousand times.

That’s kind of a basic dark, but honestly, to me, it wasn’t. I’d just gotten there. I was walking with my family. They knew where to go. I didn’t. I was a bit scared because new things are scary. Also, I thought I might get jumped even though I had nothing on me, so that didn’t help.

The thing is, it’s also the kind of dark where there isn’t a large group of lights obscuring the night sky. Often you’ll have large cities or town centers nearby that are decently lit, but here, there was nothing.

I looked up, and there were all these stars.

And I remember feeling small.

There are few things that make you feel as small as a the night sky. (I may make a post about the other things, so look out for that.) It makes you realize that you’re tiny. You’re small. You’re one life on a planet that’s one of many planets surrounding a star, and there are millions and billions of other stars out there with planets surrounding them. There might be life on other planets. There might not be. All you know for sure is that you have a life here on this planet.

Am I living a life worthy of having life?

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