Sully: Part 1


What guy named Sully sullied the word/name sully?

Good question.

I got to find out first hand. After I went through a portal¹, I found a man, sitting on a large rock, waiting for me.

He explained that there was once a king. His name was King Sullivan. He was the king of a kingdom called Theer. The king had a son, whom he named after the greatest king there ever was: himself.

However, Prince Sullivan, who was known as Sully, was an absolute mop. He could do nothing right. He couldn’t sword fight, or ride horses, or do quick maths, as all other princes before him were expected to do. Everywhere he went accidents happened, babies cried, plants shriveled. Never before had anyone had such a negative effect on the kingdom. Even evil wizards and witches complained that they could not cause half as much misery as he.

The king took note of his son’s effect on the kingdom. Obviously, he could not allow his son to take over the kingdom. Sullivan Sr. had even heard some of the guards and servants using Sully as a verb when things went wrong. Admittedly, even the king himself started to say it, such as when he said: “Oh, I’ve Sully’d the map,” after he had spilled his wine on the cartographer’s work.

Obviously, this was unacceptable. Something needed to be done. The king thought long and hard about how he could restore honor to his tainted name and free his son of this curse. Truthfully, the solution did not take him very long to find. After all, he was a wise king, the wisest there ever was. He quickly realized that he needed to send his son on a quest!


¹ Full disclosure, the picture is not the actual portal through which I went. I couldn’t take an actual picture of the portal because that would be bad form, in my opinion. Instead, I opted to go with a photo of the ceiling at the Fitzwilliam Museum. Listen, pro-tip, museums house a lot of great art, but the buildings themselves are pretty fantastic. The architecture is usually 10/10. Appreciate the art that is the building next time you’re at a museum.


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